what a depressed person wants you to know

Do you have a friend or family member that is depressed? These timely truths will help you relate better with them and save your relationship.

It is hard to understand a depressed person. This makes it so challenging to offer the right help. Saying the wrong things is detrimental to their senses and can drop them to a worse state. If you’ve been trying to help a person with depression, this is what a depressed person wants you to know.

Why did I write this post?

Depression has been a significant part of my life since I was a little girl. Of course, I would act like I was okay because I didn’t want to look weak or needy, but it drained me on the inside. The misunderstandings and constant naggings from parents and friends who didn’t understand killed me slowly. 

How long can a person stay depressed? That is a story for another day. For today, I will tell you what I desperately wanted everyone to know about depression. Luckily, they are the same with what a depressed person wants you to know.

What a depressed person desperately wants you to know

  1. We don’t always look depressed

We hide it so well. There are days when we don’t wear depression on our faces; we don’t want the world to see our pain and call us weak. On those days, we fight so hard and play a lot, but immediately we get behind closed doors, the tears come streaming. But how could you not see? How could you not see that there is something wrong, that those smiles are a mask covering the scars of our souls?

what a depressed person wants you to know
  1. Depression goes past our minds; sometimes, it makes us sick!

It makes our tummy turn and our heads bang. It sometimes feels like we had bad food, but no! It’s the depression. How can our heads not bang when we overthink everything, from what we said to what was said to us?

  1. Depression has different triggers

When we climb up the ladder of joy and peace, we know that there is something below, dragging our feet to hit the ground once again. They call it “triggers”. Check out this list of common depression triggers.

Most times, it could be from a painful life experience like a traumatic childhood or a love story gone wrong. It could even be a stressful family or a consistent failure of some sort. The memories haunt us; we wish we could forget. 

what a depressed person wants you to know
  1. When depressed, our sex drive could be altered

Believe us when we say that we are not in the mood because it’s true. They say depression affects our brains, but I don’t know how. It makes everything uninteresting, even sex. This is what a depressed person wants you to know. (Check out this article by Cleveland Clinic on how depression affects sex life).

Again, when depressed, we feel distant from everything, especially ourselves; how then can we connect with you? 

  1. We are also tired of the depression

Is there anything more draining than depression? Looking at your laundry but unable to do them because depression makes you tired, does that sound like a good thing? We are sick of it! We want to write out our to-do list and stick to it. 

The house feels great when clean, and we would love to clean them daily; if only we wouldn’t feel so depressed!

  1. Kids get depressed too

Many things are troubling to a kid; you just don’t know. Friends bully; they say we do not measure up; parents condemn, wonder why we don’t bring home the best grades. (This article will help you recognize a depressed kid).

what a depressed person wants you to know
Depressed kid

There is no need to try to prove a point because we may never win. As a child that grew up with depression, I can say that the world is rough for children. As an adult and still depressed, I know that the battle was even harder then.

  1. Depression makes it hard to sleep, but sometimes, we sleep a lot

What a depressed person wants you to know is that there are nights when we never taste sleep until we cry. Oh! How tears have become the escape route from our clamorous minds. They say keep a calm mind, and you will fall asleep; I bet you don’t understand how it feels when your mind runs faster than you do.

On the other days, having the recommended 8 hours of sleep is not enough. We feel so weak that the only thing we are strong enough to do is sleep. So we sleep and sleep because we feel so exhausted.(Check out this article on why how to deal with tiredness when depressed).

  1. Some days are harder than the others

This is where most people get it wrong. We don’t feel depressed every day. We, too, have happy days when the sun shines brightly, and we see a ray of hope. However, there are days we have an optimistic outlook but are seriously trying to hold things together on the inside, but still, there are days when we are truly grateful for being alive.

  1. Celebrate our little wins

It takes so much effort to achieve what you tag “little”. It could be making our beds or combing our hair; sometimes, it could even be having the courage to hang out with friends. If you understand that there are days where putting on our pants and having our baths feel like impossible tasks, you will buy us a drink when we do.

what a depressed person wants you to know
  1. If we cancel plans, it is for your good

We don’t want to spoil the mood. When depression hits us hard like the bricks from a collapsing building, we cry sporadically. This happens a lot to me. At this point, I avoid being in public because I don’t want to draw attention. Most friends understand this; we bless those who do. 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t encourage us to get out of our shells; you can, but find a way to our hearts first. It is easier to get us feeling bright that way. 

  1. We’ve done all the research online; so please keep quiet

You could be a psychologist by profession, we respect that, but we know we are depressed and have probably done tons of research to understand why we feel the way we do. There is no need to try to explain to us why we feel the way we do. After all, you may not even know what it feels like.

what a depressed person wants you to know

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share some helpful tips on how to feel better; we just want you to stop trying to diagnose us like we have a “disease”. (This article reveals the right things to say to a depressed person).

  1. Don’t try to fix us

We are not sick or less privileged; stop sending many motivational messages. Of course, they help when you send them once in a while; making it a daily or unending thing makes us feel like we are indeed a burden to you, and so you are looking for any means to find some relief. 

We know that you just want us to be okay soon, but being present with us when we are buried in the blanket to stare softly with sweet smiles of comfort are more uplifting with tons of motivational messages. (Say this to a depressed person).

  1. We appreciate your help

We know that we don’t say it as often as we should, but this is what a depressed person wants you to know. We really do appreciate your presence in our lives. Knowing that you have us in mind makes all the difference; we value the time you make us smile and laugh so profoundly. So, thank you.

It’s a process

There is a lot for the depressed person and their friend to learn, but what a depressed person really wants you to know is that depression is hard. It is hard for them, their family and friends. All you can do is support and lend a warm shoulder.

Medical Disclaimer

The information shared on this website is gathered from researches, peer-reviewed studies and real-life observations. We aim to educate and help you live mentally strong and positive. What we share here may be controversial, but we expect you to use your intuition and judgment. Our information does not replace professional medical advice. In fact, we encourage you to seek professional help when you need it.

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